








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 99 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8 | 8% |
| Smokes | 14 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 37 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 40 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,000 of utility $12 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Special K | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | gubbmicke | 38% | 8 |
| #3 | TJNY | 26% | 19 |
| #4 | Stitch<3 | 26% | 19 |
| #5 | Bartosz | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Stitch<3 | 26% | 19 |
| #5 | Bartosz | 23% | 13 |
| #6 | LUCASW | 17% | 6 |
| #7 | Goblin | 14% | 7 |
| #8 | askel | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TJNY | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | gubbmicke | 1 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Goblin | 1 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | .Special K | 1 | 0.0222 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bartosz | 33 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | TJNY | 31 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | gubbmicke | 22 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | LUCASW | 18 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #5 | askel | 12 | 0.32 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LUCASW | +8.68 | 74 | 75 |
| #2 | .Special K | +8.25 | 90 | 83 |
| #3 | Bartosz | +7.46 | 74 | 67 |
| #4 | TJNY | +2.22 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | Goblin | +1.51 | 41 | 43 |





