








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2499 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,014 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1063 | 26% |
| Smokes | 845 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1129 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 977 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $52,543 of utility $8 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 269 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Stitch<3 | 48% | 106 |
| #8 | Yngel | 47% | 38 |
| #9 | TJNY | 47% | 105 |
| #10 | gubbmicke | 47% | 43 |
| #11 | askel | 38% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bartosz | 494 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | LUCASW | 165 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | gubbmicke | 136 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Yngel | 135 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | TJNY | 118 | 0.06 | 3 min |





