








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1589 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,193 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 626 | 20% |
| Smokes | 980 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 753 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 834 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $489,636 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 386 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Revenant | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Meth ♕ | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | B I G ⚡︎ ejdyyy | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | EBOLA | 52% | 79 |
| #5 | ♕Urmumgay♕ | 49% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EBOLA | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | 🄼🄴🅁🄲🅈 | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Mür1n | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | ♕Urmumgay♕ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Meth ♕ | 2 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♕Urmumgay♕ | 173 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | 🄼🄴🅁🄲🅈 | 120 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | EBOLA | 86 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mür1n | 59 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Meth ♕ | 30 | 0.12 | 0 min |





