








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 321 matches | ||
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 161 matches | ||
| Wingman | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 252 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8731 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7010 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6488 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 7829 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 8678 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,331,032 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1909 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iMickey | 59% | 71 |
| #2 | Mür1n | 52% | 159 |
| #3 | Honinov | 52% | 186 |
| #4 | Pusinka T1G3R12 | 51% | 88 |
| #5 | EBOLA | 50% | 632 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EBOLA | 50 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Meth ♕ | 41 | 0.0172 |
| #3 | 🄼🄴🅁🄲🅈 | 36 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Dustin ♕ | 23 | 0.0099 |
| #5 | Mür1n | 19 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🄼🄴🅁🄲🅈 | 684 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #2 | EBOLA | 608 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #3 | Honinov | 277 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | Mür1n | 235 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Meth ♕ | 223 | 0.09 | 4 min |





