








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2477 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,134 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1625 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2676 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2176 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1657 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $640,347 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ Dom1n ♛ | 55% | 53 |
| #2 | Mür1n | 54% | 101 |
| #3 | Agydar | 51% | 98 |
| #4 | EBOLA | 49% | 262 |
| #5 | ♕Urmumgay♕ | 43% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | EBOLA | 49% | 262 |
| #5 | ♕Urmumgay♕ | 43% | 115 |
| #6 | Honinov | 42% | 19 |
| #7 | 🄼🄴🅁🄲🅈 | 39% | 41 |
| #8 | Rikardo | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EBOLA | 18 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Mür1n | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | ♛ Dom1n ♛ | 6 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | ♕Urmumgay♕ | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Agydar | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EBOLA | 262 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #2 | Mür1n | 178 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | ♕Urmumgay♕ | 169 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Agydar | 79 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | ♛ Dom1n ♛ | 65 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mür1n | +3.99 | 91 | 52 |
| #2 | Honinov | +2.33 | 61 | 49 |
| #3 | ♛ Dom1n ♛ | +0.98 | 78 | 60 |
| #4 | Rikardo | +0.73 | 61 | 59 |
| #5 | Revenant | +0.26 | 62 | 51 |





