








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 111 matches | ||
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5778 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,551 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3318 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4058 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4274 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3901 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,214,241 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 297 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anime | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | Rikardo | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | Revenant | 54% | 101 |
| #4 | xsu. ʀɪᴅᴢɪᴍ | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | ♕Urmumgay♕ | 52% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EBOLA | 22 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | ♛ Dom1n ♛ | 20 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | ♕Urmumgay♕ | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | 🄼🄴🅁🄲🅈 | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Anime | 4 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EBOLA | 455 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #2 | ♕Urmumgay♕ | 243 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | ♛ Dom1n ♛ | 213 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | 🄼🄴🅁🄲🅈 | 124 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Revenant | 104 | 0.05 | 2 min |





