








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2445 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,928 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1368 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2507 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2107 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1946 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $973,919 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bvbbles | 58% | 50 |
| #2 | Immanuel Tank | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Cody Cigar / You Got Any Gum? | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | ArkoN | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | shia labeouf ♡(・_ ・) | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | shia labeouf ♡(・_ ・) | 50% | 34 |
| #6 | Mofes | 47% | 131 |
| #7 | BlueSlusher | 45% | 147 |
| #8 | Ichbinverwirrt | 44% | 100 |
| #9 | Jana aus Kassel | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlueSlusher | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Ichbinverwirrt | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Mofes | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Bvbbles | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | shia labeouf ♡(・_ ・) | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mofes | 408 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | Ichbinverwirrt | 292 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | BlueSlusher | 199 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bvbbles | 196 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | Immanuel Tank | 92 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ichbinverwirrt | +1.25 | 68 | 71 |
| #2 | Immanuel Tank | +1.04 | 77 | 72 |
| #3 | Cody Cigar / You Got Any Gum? | +0.98 | 68 | 62 |
| #4 | Bvbbles | +0.21 | 74 | 63 |
| #5 | BlueSlusher | -0.12 | 43 | 61 |





