








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 351 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 404 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4972 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6158 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7416 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4890 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4613 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,632,626 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 511 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [AA] Angels Sippen | 58% | 50 |
| #2 | Cody Cigar / You Got Any Gum? | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | Mofes | 51% | 37 |
| #4 | Ichbinverwirrt | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | Baunisty | 50% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | HoaX | 50% | 111 |
| #7 | BlueSlusher | 49% | 55 |
| #8 | Laudian | 48% | 99 |
| #9 | xNi7rOx | 43% | 30 |
| #10 | ArkoN | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baunisty | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | BlueSlusher | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | HoaX | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Cody Cigar / You Got Any Gum? | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Laudian | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baunisty | 463 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | HoaX | 220 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Laudian | 190 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Mofes | 133 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ichbinverwirrt | 132 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ichbinverwirrt | +1.73 | 67 | 68 |
| #2 | Cody Cigar / You Got Any Gum? | +0.48 | 63 | 59 |
| #3 | HoaX | +0.32 | 45 | 61 |
| #4 | Bvbbles | +0.31 | 71 | 69 |
| #5 | xNi7rOx | +0.30 | 68 | 77 |





