








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,772 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 385 | 22% |
| Smokes | 505 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 395 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 487 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $148,372 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ichbinverwirrt | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | stf | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Alex | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | RegnBogn - can't handle it! | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | [AA] Angels Sippen | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | BlueSlusher | 46% | 37 |
| #7 | Mofes | 45% | 42 |
| #8 | Hannibalist | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | easyT0PGUN | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | Chris | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ichbinverwirrt | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | [AA] Angels Sippen | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mofes | 164 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Ichbinverwirrt | 99 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | BlueSlusher | 50 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | [AA] Angels Sippen | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | RegnBogn - can't handle it! | 30 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hannibalist | +2.57 | 64 | 68 |
| #2 | Ichbinverwirrt | +2.40 | 73 | 71 |
| #3 | Chris | +1.74 | 85 | 59 |
| #4 | RegnBogn - can't handle it! | +0.72 | 67 | 72 |
| #5 | Mofes | +0.26 | 50 | 70 |





