








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 469 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 428 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4927 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,132 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2561 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3181 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5688 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 3702 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,028,529 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | xNi7rOx | 44% | 50 |
| #11 | Cody Cigar / You Got Any Gum? | 41% | 79 |
| #12 | El Duderino | 40% | 45 |
| #13 | Immanuel Tank | 38% | 34 |
| #14 | ArkoN | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ichbinverwirrt | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Mofes | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Cody Cigar / You Got Any Gum? | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | [AA] Angels Sippen | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Immanuel Tank | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mofes | 873 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #2 | Ichbinverwirrt | 465 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Cody Cigar / You Got Any Gum? | 249 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Bvbbles | 249 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #5 | [AA] Angels Sippen | 238 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flosen McFloflo | +1.88 | 72 | 57 |
| #2 | xNi7rOx | +1.68 | 69 | 77 |
| #3 | Ichbinverwirrt | +1.40 | 69 | 68 |
| #4 | Cody Cigar / You Got Any Gum? | +0.92 | 60 | 63 |
| #5 | ArkoN | +0.43 | 42 | 68 |





