








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 282 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3628 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,605 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3478 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4353 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3746 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3028 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,610,929 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | xion | 49% | 45 |
| #12 | El Duderino | 46% | 110 |
| #13 | xNi7rOx | 45% | 98 |
| #14 | [AA] Angels Sippen | 44% | 100 |
| #15 | r4k373🚀 | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArkoN | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | xNi7rOx | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | BlueSlusher | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ※ DiaMonD ※ | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | r4k373🚀 | 4 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mofes | 542 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | ArkoN | 472 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | xNi7rOx | 350 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | BlueSlusher | 201 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | [AA] Angels Sippen | 149 | 0.07 | 3 min |





