








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Wingman | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6544 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,705 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6214 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5751 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3707 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 6033 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,543,605 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 459 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cadet | 59% | 71 |
| #2 | Syan | 57% | 44 |
| #3 | Fruity Durruti | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | chipper412 | 56% | 160 |
| #5 | ZarM | 50% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | chipper412 | 56% | 160 |
| #5 | ZarM | 50% | 60 |
| #6 | shfty | 47% | 125 |
| #7 | pgxy | 44% | 72 |
| #8 | AgentKiri | 39% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chipper412 | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | shfty | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Cadet | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | AgentKiri | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | pgxy | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shfty | 573 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #2 | chipper412 | 551 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #3 | pgxy | 301 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #4 | Cadet | 204 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | ZarM | 132 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chipper412 | +3.16 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | GrayshaValor | +2.18 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | Cadet | +0.19 | 76 | 55 |
| #4 | ZarM | -0.09 | 64 | 70 |
| #5 | shfty | -1.35 | 59 | 52 |





