








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 677 matches | ||
| Faceit | 133 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,816 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7723 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6855 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5731 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5507 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,804,061 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1940 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chipper412 | 58% | 84 |
| #2 | tanner | 52% | 83 |
| #3 | Amadeus | 51% | 228 |
| #4 | Kaema-_- | 48% | 67 |
| #5 | fa0 | 34% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chipper412 | 58% | 84 |
| #2 | tanner | 52% | 83 |
| #3 | Amadeus | 51% | 228 |
| #4 | Kaema-_- | 48% | 67 |
| #5 | fa0 | 34% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amadeus | 22 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | tanner | 14 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Kaema-_- | 13 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | fa0 | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | chipper412 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chipper412 | 370 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | Amadeus | 294 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | tanner | 253 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | Kaema-_- | 252 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | fa0 | 234 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tanner | +3.07 | 90 | 58 |
| #2 | chipper412 | +1.94 | 82 | 76 |
| #3 | Kaema-_- | +1.43 | 80 | 59 |
| #4 | Steel™ | +1.08 | 81 | 55 |
| #5 | Amadeus | -0.94 | 60 | 52 |





