








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 343 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 180 matches | ||
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4148 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3405 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3680 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4376 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2352 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,437,267 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 674 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Escape From Kajso | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | Aleks | 59% | 66 |
| #3 | ☯ Harozip. | 58% | 97 |
| #4 | dr thc | 57% | 166 |
| #5 | hYP3R | 54% | 260 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | dr thc | 57% | 166 |
| #5 | hYP3R | 54% | 260 |
| #6 | Deavided185 | 54% | 80 |
| #7 | bEHY | 54% | 69 |
| #8 | Saskia | 54% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr thc | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Deavided185 | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Aleks | 7 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | hYP3R | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Saskia | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hYP3R | 432 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #2 | Deavided185 | 193 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | dr thc | 172 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | ☯ Harozip. | 140 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Saskia | 121 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr thc | +2.19 | 85 | 58 |
| #2 | Aleks | +1.61 | 75 | 52 |
| #3 | hYP3R | +1.55 | 57 | 67 |
| #4 | Deavided185 | +1.00 | 76 | 70 |
| #5 | bEHY | +0.82 | 81 | 55 |





