








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 184 matches | ||
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2790 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,656 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2413 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2926 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2205 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2112 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $797,902 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Hexmonkey | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | Deavided185 | 61% | 114 |
| #3 | dr thc | 61% | 238 |
| #4 | Escape From Kajso | 60% | 35 |
| #5 | Saskia | 60% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saskia | 231 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | dr thc | 223 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #3 | Fredy | 220 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Deavided185 | 199 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | bEHY | 154 | 0.04 | 5 min |





