








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 605 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 234 matches | ||
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,613 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9051 | 49% |
| Smokes | 3830 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2035 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 3697 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,657,596 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1658 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jay | 58% | 124 |
| #2 | §þð†lê§§ | 57% | 202 |
| #3 | :/ | 56% | 50 |
| #4 | EhX | 55% | 128 |
| #5 | The Yak Man | 52% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | The Yak Man | 52% | 83 |
| #6 | BraidedAnt | 52% | 62 |
| #7 | Zorr0 | 52% | 196 |
| #8 | kyth | 48% | 138 |
| #9 | kymby | 34% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | §þð†lê§§ | 61 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | Zorr0 | 43 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | kyth | 39 | 0.0140 |
| #4 | EhX | 14 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | The Yak Man | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | §þð†lê§§ | 1206 | 0.30 | 38 min |
| #2 | Zorr0 | 814 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #3 | kyth | 266 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | The Yak Man | 147 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jay | 142 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | §þð†lê§§ | +3.49 | 74 | 83 |
| #2 | EhX | +2.02 | 69 | 48 |
| #3 | Cr1m1nal | +1.67 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | Jay | +1.48 | 88 | 55 |
| #5 | :/ | +1.36 | 90 | 49 |





