








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3831 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1762 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3028 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2583 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2959 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $583,551 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zorr0 | 60% | 72 |
| #2 | Cr1m1nal | 58% | 124 |
| #3 | §þð†lê§§ | 58% | 50 |
| #4 | The Yak Man | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zorr0 | 60% | 72 |
| #2 | Cr1m1nal | 58% | 124 |
| #3 | §þð†lê§§ | 58% | 50 |
| #4 | The Yak Man | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zorr0 | 15 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | §þð†lê§§ | 9 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Cr1m1nal | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | The Yak Man | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cr1m1nal | 385 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | §þð†lê§§ | 284 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #3 | Zorr0 | 278 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | The Yak Man | 134 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | §þð†lê§§ | +3.27 | 81 | 83 |
| #2 | Jay | +2.40 | 89 | 56 |
| #3 | Cr1m1nal | +1.46 | 64 | 61 |
| #4 | Zorr0 | +0.76 | 82 | 72 |
| #5 | The Yak Man | -4.26 | 33 | 60 |





