








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 122 matches | ||
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




128 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4684 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,698 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5768 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3944 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3482 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3504 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,195,987 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 712 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EhX | 70% | 37 |
| #2 | Jay | 60% | 72 |
| #3 | §þð†lê§§ | 53% | 112 |
| #4 | Cr1m1nal | 52% | 196 |
| #5 | The Yak Man | 52% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EhX | 70% | 37 |
| #2 | Jay | 60% | 72 |
| #3 | §þð†lê§§ | 53% | 112 |
| #4 | Cr1m1nal | 52% | 196 |
| #5 | The Yak Man | 52% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | §þð†lê§§ | 26 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | Cr1m1nal | 20 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | The Yak Man | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | EhX | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Jay | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | §þð†lê§§ | 711 | 0.31 | 23 min |
| #2 | Cr1m1nal | 673 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #3 | The Yak Man | 119 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jay | 74 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | EhX | 28 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | §þð†lê§§ | +3.31 | 74 | 83 |
| #2 | Jay | +1.92 | 89 | 55 |
| #3 | EhX | +1.82 | 68 | 56 |
| #4 | Cr1m1nal | +1.40 | 68 | 61 |
| #5 | Zorr0 | +0.44 | 82 | 71 |





