








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 140 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1831 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1753 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2052 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1699 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1344 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $429,026 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheSmallTalk | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | Botalert | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | Оливие Шампен | 57% | 47 |
| #4 | слава белой расе | 55% | 120 |
| #5 | vld$$$$ | 53% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vld$$$$ | 607 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #2 | слава белой расе | 564 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #3 | vladimiroff | 361 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | Botalert | 118 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #5 | ^5lubakisaa | 91 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | слава белой расе | +2.54 | 73 | 75 |
| #2 | ХристоS | +1.96 | 74 | 71 |
| #3 | ^5lubakisaa | +1.72 | 84 | 60 |
| #4 | KiNGoon | +1.25 | 78 | 57 |
| #5 | theos | +0.63 | 59 | 66 |





