








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 242 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 211 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2336 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1757 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1979 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3328 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1854 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $75,835 of utility $16 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Оливие Шампен | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | KoL1o | 54% | 69 |
| #3 | ManBlack⁶⁶⁶ | 50% | 84 |
| #4 | vladimiroff | 48% | 79 |
| #5 | ✪v0Lx | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ^5lubakisaa | 48% | 40 |
| #8 | VanDaLoo | 46% | 13 |
| #9 | слава белой расе | 45% | 58 |
| #10 | dav1dG♛ | 44% | 34 |
| #11 | FluviaL | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KoL1o | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | vladimiroff | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | ✪v0Lx | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vladimiroff | 304 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | vld$$$$ | 273 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | KoL1o | 234 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | слава белой расе | 226 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | ✪v0Lx | 133 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | theos | +2.02 | 64 | 68 |
| #2 | слава белой расе | +1.60 | 72 | 71 |
| #3 | ✪v0Lx | +0.77 | 80 | 72 |
| #4 | ^5lubakisaa | +0.76 | 80 | 60 |
| #5 | FluviaL | +0.31 | 77 | 49 |





