








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 268 matches | ||
| Premier | 88 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3855 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7314 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6956 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3795 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4344 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $475,731 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Оливие Шампен | 57% | 104 |
| #2 | слава белой расе | 54% | 223 |
| #3 | dav1dG♛ | 53% | 121 |
| #4 | vladimiroff | 50% | 183 |
| #5 | TheSmallTalk | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | TheSmallTalk | 50% | 20 |
| #6 | KiNGoon | 50% | 22 |
| #7 | ^5lubakisaa | 50% | 132 |
| #8 | theos | 48% | 69 |
| #9 | ХристоS | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | слава белой расе | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | ХристоS | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | dav1dG♛ | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | vladimiroff | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Оливие Шампен | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | слава белой расе | 971 | 0.20 | 23 min |
| #2 | vladimiroff | 689 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #3 | dav1dG♛ | 226 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | ^5lubakisaa | 198 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Оливие Шампен | 162 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | слава белой расе | +1.91 | 72 | 71 |
| #2 | theos | +1.83 | 61 | 65 |
| #3 | ^5lubakisaa | +1.44 | 84 | 62 |
| #4 | KiNGoon | +0.95 | 77 | 58 |
| #5 | ХристоS | +0.65 | 68 | 69 |





