








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 473 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 152 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1485 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1244 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 3325 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2691 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,931 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r1 | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | PeHaTa | 55% | 49 |
| #3 | Spec7ator | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | dav1dG♛ | 52% | 65 |
| #5 | vladimiroff | 52% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | TheSmallTalk | 50% | 16 |
| #8 | vld$$$$ | 50% | 132 |
| #9 | theos | 48% | 40 |
| #10 | слава белой расе | 47% | 125 |
| #11 | ХристоS | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeHaTa | 8 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | слава белой расе | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | vld$$$$ | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | ХристоS | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | vladimiroff | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vld$$$$ | 640 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #2 | слава белой расе | 555 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #3 | vladimiroff | 509 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #4 | Spec7ator | 111 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | PeHaTa | 99 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r1 | +2.31 | 66 | 69 |
| #2 | слава белой расе | +1.99 | 76 | 74 |
| #3 | ^5lubakisaa | +1.78 | 85 | 59 |
| #4 | PeHaTa | +1.48 | 80 | 54 |
| #5 | theos | +1.46 | 60 | 59 |





