








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3438 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3149 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2134 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3019 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $433,261 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kumquat III | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | manny | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | Goblin Mode | 54% | 87 |
| #4 | Mediocre | 53% | 32 |
| #5 | ✪ TheViolentSushi | 50% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Papa Francesco | 48% | 46 |
| #8 | illwill | 48% | 65 |
| #9 | Gen the King of UwU | 48% | 107 |
| #10 | LaFlame | 45% | 58 |
| #11 | Jeapr | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gen the King of UwU | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | tito | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Goblin Mode | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ✪ TheViolentSushi | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | illwill | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gen the King of UwU | 440 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | tito | 327 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | Goblin Mode | 326 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | manny | 290 | 0.33 | 7 min |
| #5 | ✪ TheViolentSushi | 217 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ StevieJV | +0.92 | 63 | 61 |
| #2 | illwill | +0.84 | 67 | 67 |
| #3 | tito | +0.74 | 67 | 66 |
| #4 | Gen the King of UwU | +0.49 | 76 | 74 |
| #5 | LaFlame | +0.25 | 62 | 66 |





