








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1783 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 557 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 125 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11364 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 44,952 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13396 | 30% |
| Smokes | 12823 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 8728 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 10005 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,681,692 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mediocre | 48% | 650 |
| #2 | ✪ StevieJV | 48% | 65 |
| #3 | Kumquat III | 47% | 575 |
| #4 | WestAmwellWyatt | 45% | 127 |
| #5 | MAG | 44% | 185 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mediocre | 48% | 650 |
| #2 | ✪ StevieJV | 48% | 65 |
| #3 | Kumquat III | 47% | 575 |
| #4 | WestAmwellWyatt | 45% | 127 |
| #5 | MAG | 44% | 185 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kumquat III | 16 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Mediocre | 8 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | MAG | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ✪ StevieJV | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mediocre | 2200 | 0.17 | 49 min |
| #2 | Kumquat III | 1550 | 0.13 | 38 min |
| #3 | ✪ StevieJV | 258 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | MAG | 242 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | WestAmwellWyatt | 25 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illwill | +1.89 | 66 | 69 |
| #2 | ✪ StevieJV | +0.43 | 62 | 60 |
| #3 | Mediocre | -0.61 | 68 | 60 |
| #4 | MAG | -0.77 | 54 | 51 |
| #5 | Kumquat III | -2.17 | 46 | 58 |





