








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,574 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2460 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1626 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1732 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 756 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $313,903 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jared | 53% | 127 |
| #2 | ٴ | 51% | 213 |
| #3 | ryan (saved by Christ) | 51% | 73 |
| #4 | jake | 50% | 200 |
| #5 | diego | 49% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jared | 53% | 127 |
| #2 | ٴ | 51% | 213 |
| #3 | ryan (saved by Christ) | 51% | 73 |
| #4 | jake | 50% | 200 |
| #5 | diego | 49% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ٴ | 20 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | jake | 13 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | jared | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | ryan (saved by Christ) | 5 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jake | 530 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | jared | 232 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | ryan (saved by Christ) | 207 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | ٴ | 166 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | diego | 154 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jared | +3.58 | 66 | 66 |
| #2 | ryan (saved by Christ) | +1.53 | 77 | 44 |
| #3 | diego | +1.17 | 89 | 50 |
| #4 | north sulawesi | -0.47 | 59 | 62 |
| #5 | ٴ | -0.54 | 62 | 38 |





