








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
160 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 710 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 119 | 17% |
| Smokes | 200 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 282 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 109 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $60,992 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giggity Giggity | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Flysick | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | Hoax🍋 | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | nLk | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | bNy | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Flysick | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | Hoax🍋 | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | nLk | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | bNy | 44% | 16 |
| #6 | Collynzen | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nLk | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Collynzen | 1 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nLk | 78 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | Hoax🍋 | 46 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | bNy | 38 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Flysick | 36 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Giggity Giggity | 26 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nLk | +3.63 | 82 | 79 |
| #2 | Hoax🍋 | +2.26 | 82 | 58 |
| #3 | bNy | -0.42 | 64 | 70 |
| #4 | Collynzen | -0.86 | 40 | 36 |
| #5 | Giggity Giggity | -0.91 | 74 | 77 |





