








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,692 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2084 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2952 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3292 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2364 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,895,580 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soup | 50% | 30 |
| #2 | Mattress Mack | 50% | 38 |
| #3 | Scooty-Puff Jr. | 48% | 222 |
| #4 | caught` | 48% | 121 |
| #5 | Twiz | 47% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | SozeN | 46% | 394 |
| #7 | foxbox | 46% | 166 |
| #8 | dr. dad | 44% | 271 |
| #9 | Penguin | 43% | 152 |
| #10 | Crappie Duster | 31% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr. dad | 42 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | SozeN | 17 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | foxbox | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Penguin | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Scooty-Puff Jr. | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SozeN | 874 | 0.11 | 27 min |
| #2 | Scooty-Puff Jr. | 495 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | dr. dad | 342 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | Penguin | 291 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | foxbox | 267 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SozeN | +2.41 | 57 | 72 |
| #2 | Scooty-Puff Jr. | +1.80 | 81 | 67 |
| #3 | soup | +1.63 | 60 | 77 |
| #4 | Twiz | +0.03 | 67 | 68 |
| #5 | dr. dad | -0.44 | 61 | 54 |





