








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2993 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,490 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2271 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3607 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4405 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3207 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,195,575 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soup | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | Penguin | 52% | 115 |
| #3 | Mattress Mack | 52% | 54 |
| #4 | dr. dad | 49% | 157 |
| #5 | Crappie Duster | 48% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | SozeN | 48% | 279 |
| #7 | Scooty-Puff Jr. | 47% | 225 |
| #8 | caught` | 47% | 119 |
| #9 | Kimmy Gibbler | 46% | 166 |
| #10 | Twiz | 44% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SozeN | 15 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | dr. dad | 14 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Kimmy Gibbler | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Crappie Duster | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | caught` | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SozeN | 610 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #2 | Scooty-Puff Jr. | 432 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | caught` | 314 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | Twiz | 242 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kimmy Gibbler | 227 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SozeN | +2.62 | 59 | 75 |
| #2 | Scooty-Puff Jr. | +1.86 | 81 | 67 |
| #3 | soup | +0.54 | 54 | 75 |
| #4 | dr. dad | +0.22 | 62 | 53 |
| #5 | Penguin | -0.77 | 57 | 66 |





