








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,414 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2338 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1555 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2008 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1513 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,323,665 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | foxbox | 52% | 115 |
| #2 | SozeN | 49% | 210 |
| #3 | Scooty-Puff Jr. | 48% | 109 |
| #4 | dr. dad | 46% | 156 |
| #5 | Crappie Duster | 44% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Crappie Duster | 44% | 117 |
| #6 | Kimmy Gibbler | 43% | 152 |
| #7 | Mattress Mack | 42% | 60 |
| #8 | Twiz | 38% | 24 |
| #9 | caught` | 31% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr. dad | 30 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Kimmy Gibbler | 17 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Crappie Duster | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | SozeN | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | foxbox | 6 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SozeN | 477 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #2 | Scooty-Puff Jr. | 222 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Kimmy Gibbler | 197 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | dr. dad | 185 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | foxbox | 162 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SozeN | +2.75 | 57 | 74 |
| #2 | Scooty-Puff Jr. | +1.97 | 82 | 69 |
| #3 | dr. dad | -0.11 | 61 | 52 |
| #4 | Penguin | -0.47 | 61 | 65 |
| #5 | Mattress Mack | -0.77 | 61 | 63 |





