








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 267 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,827 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3733 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5226 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4387 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2481 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,447,639 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 549 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soup | 71% | 59 |
| #2 | ceebanks | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | caught` | 56% | 194 |
| #4 | Twiz | 50% | 177 |
| #5 | SozeN | 48% | 364 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Penguin | 48% | 109 |
| #8 | foxbox | 47% | 225 |
| #9 | dr. dad | 44% | 177 |
| #10 | Mattress Mack | 42% | 48 |
| #11 | Crappie Duster | 39% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SozeN | 22 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | dr. dad | 19 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Kimmy Gibbler | 18 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | caught` | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Twiz | 6 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SozeN | 786 | 0.10 | 23 min |
| #2 | caught` | 472 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | Twiz | 441 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | foxbox | 327 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | Kimmy Gibbler | 257 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scooty-Puff Jr. | +2.08 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | SozeN | +2.07 | 58 | 74 |
| #3 | soup | +0.64 | 60 | 77 |
| #4 | ceebanks | +0.04 | 61 | 73 |
| #5 | Twiz | -0.60 | 71 | 68 |





