








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 552 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 122 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,351 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1840 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3743 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4353 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5415 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,566,915 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1642 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voli | 64% | 59 |
| #2 | ☪️ʚ♛SUPUKI💤美惜ニローニɞ💜 | 60% | 81 |
| #3 | Draycing | 60% | 35 |
| #4 | Hoakub | 54% | 35 |
| #5 | Squiddy | 54% | 383 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squiddy | 14 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Crusher | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | D I N K L E 🅱 E R G | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ed | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | ☪️ʚ♛SUPUKI💤美惜ニローニɞ💜 | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squiddy | 1312 | 0.17 | 32 min |
| #2 | Crusher | 814 | 0.11 | 21 min |
| #3 | ed | 429 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | D I N K L E 🅱 E R G | 267 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | Voli | 173 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voli | +6.32 | 84 | 69 |
| #2 | ☪️ʚ♛SUPUKI💤美惜ニローニɞ💜 | +5.41 | 83 | 63 |
| #3 | Crusher | +3.23 | 71 | 60 |
| #4 | Draycing | +2.72 | 77 | 71 |
| #5 | Squiddy | +1.45 | 78 | 64 |





