








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 549 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4001 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3221 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2968 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2185 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1186 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,057,595 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 754 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanna Banana | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | ☪️ʚ♛SUPUKI💤美惜ニローニɞ💜 | 62% | 45 |
| #3 | Absent | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | ed | 55% | 113 |
| #5 | Veb | 51% | 356 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Veb | 9 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Squiddy | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | D I N K L E 🅱 E R G | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ed | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | ☪️ʚ♛SUPUKI💤美惜ニローニɞ💜 | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squiddy | 929 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #2 | ed | 357 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | D I N K L E 🅱 E R G | 232 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | Veb | 226 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | G1ADi | 92 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☪️ʚ♛SUPUKI💤美惜ニローニɞ💜 | +5.41 | 83 | 63 |
| #2 | Crusher | +3.10 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | Squiddy | +1.44 | 78 | 64 |
| #4 | Absent | +0.49 | 57 | 57 |
| #5 | ed | +0.40 | 70 | 74 |





