








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 690 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4360 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8254 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6868 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4115 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 6137 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,352,096 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2059 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoakub | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | ☪️ʚ♛SUPUKI💤美惜ニローニɞ💜 | 55% | 65 |
| #3 | Crusher | 55% | 113 |
| #4 | Veb | 54% | 134 |
| #5 | Absent | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squiddy | 1247 | 0.15 | 29 min |
| #2 | D I N K L E 🅱 E R G | 319 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #3 | Crusher | 257 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | ☪️ʚ♛SUPUKI💤美惜ニローニɞ💜 | 162 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Hanna Banana | 110 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☪️ʚ♛SUPUKI💤美惜ニローニɞ💜 | +5.63 | 83 | 63 |
| #2 | Crusher | +3.13 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | Squiddy | +1.91 | 79 | 64 |
| #4 | Hoakub | +1.38 | 64 | 59 |
| #5 | ed | +0.76 | 69 | 74 |





