








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2888 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 474 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 408 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14356 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,793 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3652 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4407 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2883 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1851 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,075,513 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2400 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andrew | 66% | 116 |
| #2 | kasvatti☆ | 65% | 74 |
| #3 | Jonツ | 62% | 149 |
| #4 | Mez | 59% | 66 |
| #5 | baquete | 52% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andrew | 66% | 116 |
| #2 | kasvatti☆ | 65% | 74 |
| #3 | Jonツ | 62% | 149 |
| #4 | Mez | 59% | 66 |
| #5 | baquete | 52% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baquete | 26 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | Jonツ | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Mez | 8 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Andrew | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | kasvatti☆ | 7 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andrew | 385 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | baquete | 325 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | kasvatti☆ | 285 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | Jonツ | 141 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mez | 23 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonツ | +2.16 | 74 | 56 |
| #2 | kasvatti☆ | +2.09 | 77 | 61 |
| #3 | Andrew | +1.72 | 75 | 68 |
| #4 | Exi | +1.52 | 76 | 42 |
| #5 | Mez | +1.15 | 72 | 36 |





