








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1923 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 282 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 223 matches | ||
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




304 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14919 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14097 | 38% |
| Smokes | 9263 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2723 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 10623 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,430,135 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andrew | 58% | 298 |
| #2 | kasvatti☆ | 58% | 288 |
| #3 | Mez | 54% | 202 |
| #4 | FISHI<3 | 54% | 158 |
| #5 | Exi | 52% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kasvatti☆ | 55 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Mez | 35 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | FISHI<3 | 23 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Jonツ | 17 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Andrew | 13 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andrew | 1031 | 0.17 | 34 min |
| #2 | kasvatti☆ | 912 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #3 | Jar Jar Dinks | 288 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Jonツ | 191 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | FISHI<3 | 175 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kasvatti☆ | +2.89 | 78 | 62 |
| #2 | Mez | +2.54 | 77 | 25 |
| #3 | Jonツ | +1.92 | 71 | 53 |
| #4 | baquete | +1.61 | 76 | 55 |
| #5 | Andrew | +1.56 | 75 | 70 |





