








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




94 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5036 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 639 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1738 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 895 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1477 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,325,882 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 608 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jar Jar Dinks | 61% | 70 |
| #2 | kasvatti☆ | 59% | 269 |
| #3 | walia6 | 59% | 66 |
| #4 | Exi | 59% | 66 |
| #5 | Andrew | 56% | 354 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baquete | 42 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | walia6 | 30 | 0.0244 |
| #3 | kasvatti☆ | 28 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Jonツ | 27 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Andrew | 14 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andrew | 1071 | 0.16 | 31 min |
| #2 | kasvatti☆ | 772 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #3 | baquete | 542 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #4 | Jonツ | 322 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | McGoo | 286 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kasvatti☆ | +2.56 | 78 | 64 |
| #2 | Jonツ | +2.19 | 73 | 53 |
| #3 | Mez | +1.95 | 76 | 24 |
| #4 | ★ dak | +0.92 | 82 | 64 |
| #5 | Andrew | +0.90 | 72 | 69 |





