








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




119 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7199 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6696 | 30% |
| Smokes | 7095 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3629 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4872 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,875,628 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 251 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walia6 | 72% | 39 |
| #2 | Exi | 65% | 74 |
| #3 | Andrew | 61% | 352 |
| #4 | ★ dak | 60% | 116 |
| #5 | Mez | 59% | 269 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baquete | 67 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | Mez | 45 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | FISHI<3 | 28 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | east | 23 | 0.0125 |
| #5 | Lukosa | 18 | 0.0147 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andrew | 1135 | 0.17 | 35 min |
| #2 | baquete | 824 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #3 | east | 390 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #4 | ★ dak | 367 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #5 | McGoo | 306 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kasvatti☆ | +2.91 | 78 | 62 |
| #2 | Jonツ | +1.70 | 73 | 56 |
| #3 | Mez | +1.44 | 77 | 25 |
| #4 | Andrew | +1.20 | 75 | 70 |
| #5 | ★ dak | +1.04 | 77 | 63 |





