








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 459 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2609 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3114 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2473 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2979 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1347 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,187,035 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 833 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KILLERKIISU | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | TEHU | 60% | 50 |
| #3 | MarkuT | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | AnjaT | 58% | 92 |
| #5 | Sir Allar | 53% | 36 |





