








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,335 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2975 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3142 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2640 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2578 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $417,112 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sNack | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | nO buenO | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | ErkkiT | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | AnjaT | 57% | 46 |
| #5 | muki | 49% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muki | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | AnjaT | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | TEHU | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | nO buenO | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | ErkkiT | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muki | 639 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #2 | TEHU | 121 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Sir Allar | 112 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | ErkkiT | 109 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | nO buenO | 98 | 0.17 | 2 min |





