








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 745 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 416 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 134 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,235 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4717 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5131 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4516 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3871 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,300,269 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 649 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Kurwa Bober | 42% | 67 |
| #13 | ErkkiT | 41% | 81 |
| #14 | Char | 40% | 77 |
| #15 | M1kstarFTW | 40% | 58 |
| #16 | MarkuT | 35% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurwa Bober | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | muki | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | nO buenO | 5 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | ErkkiT | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Char | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muki | 540 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | MarkuT | 182 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | TEHU | 167 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | ErkkiT | 146 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | nO buenO | 100 | 0.16 | 2 min |





