








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2426 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,259 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1691 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3246 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2001 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2321 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $757,609 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ynnej | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | CM | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | AnjaT | 52% | 132 |
| #4 | mönd | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | karla (cybersport athlete) | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Sir Allar | 40% | 58 |
| #13 | nO buenO | 39% | 33 |
| #14 | muki | 38% | 47 |
| #15 | MarkuT | 34% | 32 |
| #16 | ꧁༺BⱠi₮Ⱬ༻꧂ | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AnjaT | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | TEHU | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Kurwa Bober | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | nO buenO | 5 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | MarkuT | 4 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TEHU | 219 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | muki | 200 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | karla (cybersport athlete) | 117 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #4 | MarkuT | 108 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | ErkkiT | 104 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ErkkiT | +3.16 | 66 | 58 |
| #2 | ErkkiT | +2.67 | 48 | 68 |
| #3 | Ynnej | +2.12 | 75 | 72 |
| #4 | mönd | +1.78 | 80 | 62 |
| #5 | karla (cybersport athlete) | +1.14 | 74 | 69 |





