








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 402 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2613 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4228 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1976 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2250 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2738 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,111,478 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 758 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SALTY | 재수 없어 | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | red bull guzzler | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | DadBodAaron | 51% | 183 |
| #4 | loogah | 51% | 93 |
| #5 | PV | 48% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | jeryfizzle | 42% | 64 |
| #9 | OhioPeaks | 41% | 17 |
| #10 | h0ppi | 40% | 35 |
| #11 | drink.milk | 39% | 71 |
| #12 | SiX | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeryfizzle | 11 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | DadBodAaron | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Draven | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | PV | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | h0ppi | 5 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DadBodAaron | 307 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | Draven | 284 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | loogah | 257 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | PV | 159 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | h0ppi | 159 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | red bull guzzler | +3.15 | 91 | 58 |
| #2 | Draven | +2.06 | 81 | 67 |
| #3 | jeryfizzle | +0.87 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | Formerly[...] | +0.63 | 71 | 71 |
| #5 | Ikou | +0.53 | 73 | 57 |





