








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2846 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,300 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2258 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3174 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1770 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2098 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $803,590 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boogie2988 (Guys I have cancer) | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | dikzak | 62% | 66 |
| #3 | Aviaton | 61% | 46 |
| #4 | vdM | 59% | 158 |
| #5 | lockedd | 59% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Darth Raper - Might have cancer | 50% | 38 |
| #9 | AN J | 48% | 67 |
| #10 | Blackberry | 46% | 70 |
| #11 | TOXONIO | 43% | 65 |
| #12 | NeonChicken | 32% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vdM | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | TOXONIO | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | IMNT | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Blackberry | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | lockedd | 5 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vdM | 376 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | dikzak | 233 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | IMNT | 131 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Blackberry | 129 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | TOXONIO | 88 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lockedd | +5.21 | 92 | 63 |
| #2 | AN J | +1.78 | 67 | 52 |
| #3 | Flarkus | +1.18 | 76 | 52 |
| #4 | vdM | +0.99 | 72 | 55 |
| #5 | Boogie2988 (Guys I have cancer) | +0.91 | 49 | 36 |





