








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 510 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 295 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 90 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6474 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,353 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4262 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5983 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3967 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4141 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,980,528 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S.T.A.U.B. | 70% | 80 |
| #2 | dikzak | 63% | 41 |
| #3 | lockedd | 62% | 122 |
| #4 | Flarkus | 59% | 158 |
| #5 | Boogie2988 (Guys I have cancer) | 58% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IMNT | 28 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Blackberry | 20 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | TOXONIO | 15 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | lockedd | 15 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Flarkus | 8 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IMNT | 413 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | Blackberry | 384 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | TOXONIO | 375 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #4 | Flarkus | 317 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | lockedd | 302 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lockedd | +4.95 | 91 | 64 |
| #2 | Flarkus | +1.79 | 79 | 52 |
| #3 | vdM | +1.64 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | Diddle | +1.57 | 80 | 61 |
| #5 | IMNT | +1.23 | 69 | 49 |





