








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 689 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Faceit | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4846 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,397 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2770 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5207 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3967 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3453 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,075,843 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 815 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lockedd | 57% | 60 |
| #2 | vdM | 56% | 277 |
| #3 | Flarkus | 56% | 81 |
| #4 | Boogie2988 (Guys I have cancer) | 54% | 50 |
| #5 | Darth Raper - Might have cancer | 53% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOXONIO | 18 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | vdM | 15 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Blackberry | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Darth Raper - Might have cancer | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Flarkus | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vdM | 711 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #2 | TOXONIO | 563 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #3 | Blackberry | 228 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Flarkus | 187 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | lockedd | 133 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lockedd | +4.53 | 92 | 63 |
| #2 | vdM | +1.54 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | IMNT | +1.21 | 69 | 53 |
| #4 | Flarkus | +0.91 | 72 | 55 |
| #5 | TOXONIO | +0.54 | 69 | 52 |





