








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 351 matches | ||
| Faceit | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4214 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,010 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3162 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4297 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4240 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3311 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $897,149 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diddle | 57% | 42 |
| #2 | vdM | 55% | 214 |
| #3 | Boogie2988 (Guys I have cancer) | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | IMNT | 53% | 302 |
| #5 | Blackberry | 49% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IMNT | 25 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | vdM | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Blackberry | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Diddle | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Flarkus | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IMNT | 567 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #2 | vdM | 480 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | Diddle | 165 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Blackberry | 147 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Flarkus | 132 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vdM | +1.20 | 74 | 62 |
| #2 | Diddle | +1.05 | 78 | 64 |
| #3 | Flarkus | +0.81 | 72 | 50 |
| #4 | IMNT | +0.79 | 68 | 55 |
| #5 | TOXONIO | +0.66 | 68 | 52 |





