








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
502 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 222 | 13% |
| Smokes | 525 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 483 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 492 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $342,613 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | ihanavietu | 33% | 12 |
| #15 | 1ndl | 30% | 10 |
| #16 | mule | 25% | 12 |
| #17 | ellaaaa | 11% | 9 |
| #18 | 예지 | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sammee | 5 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | neti | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | vauhtisami | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | pormestari | 2 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | kalmarz | 2 | 0.0157 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neti | 83 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Sammee | 74 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | vauhtisami | 58 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | mark | 52 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | fantsu | 40 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalmarz | +7.18 | 95 | 61 |
| #2 | ake | +5.85 | 90 | 67 |
| #3 | Sammee | +3.83 | 95 | 56 |
| #4 | mark | +2.86 | 71 | 75 |
| #5 | 1ndl | +2.20 | 64 | 55 |





