








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1211 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,832 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1636 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1101 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1116 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 979 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $341,490 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | theaustin | 60% | 48 |
| #2 | xZoKe | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | Skokan | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | Jeffrlf2 | 55% | 58 |
| #5 | Michaecide | 52% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jeffrlf2 | 55% | 58 |
| #5 | Michaecide | 52% | 94 |
| #6 | bigwiggy | 50% | 34 |
| #7 | Discount Zywoo | 49% | 90 |
| #8 | Justin "jks" Savage (大阴茎) | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michaecide | 48 | 0.0265 |
| #2 | bigwiggy | 18 | 0.0261 |
| #3 | Justin "jks" Savage (大阴茎) | 12 | 0.0198 |
| #4 | Discount Zywoo | 11 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Jeffrlf2 | 4 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Discount Zywoo | 384 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | Jeffrlf2 | 230 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Michaecide | 210 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | theaustin | 127 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Skokan | 117 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Discount Zywoo | +3.21 | 73 | 70 |
| #2 | Michaecide | +1.66 | 52 | 30 |
| #3 | Skokan | +0.73 | 58 | 66 |
| #4 | Jeffrlf2 | +0.32 | 64 | 56 |
| #5 | bigwiggy | -0.15 | 56 | 43 |





