








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




158 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4642 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,591 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2775 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2621 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1100 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2095 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,449,928 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 400 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skokan | 58% | 73 |
| #2 | bigwiggy | 57% | 87 |
| #3 | theaustin | 55% | 84 |
| #4 | izu.bee ☽ ⋆* | 54% | 35 |
| #5 | Cae | 52% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Endless | 50% | 26 |
| #7 | Jeffrlf2 | 50% | 119 |
| #8 | Discount Zywoo | 49% | 277 |
| #9 | xZoKe | 48% | 77 |
| #10 | Justin "jks" Savage (大阴茎) | 43% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cae | 48 | 0.0267 |
| #2 | bigwiggy | 46 | 0.0267 |
| #3 | Discount Zywoo | 38 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Justin "jks" Savage (大阴茎) | 22 | 0.0243 |
| #5 | Jeffrlf2 | 13 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Discount Zywoo | 1280 | 0.22 | 35 min |
| #2 | Jeffrlf2 | 481 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #3 | Cae | 414 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #4 | Skokan | 261 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #5 | theaustin | 240 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Discount Zywoo | +2.28 | 72 | 66 |
| #2 | Michaecide | +1.68 | 58 | 36 |
| #3 | Endless | +0.45 | 87 | 38 |
| #4 | Jeffrlf2 | +0.23 | 62 | 52 |
| #5 | Skokan | +0.06 | 64 | 67 |





