








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 575 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2956 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2668 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2870 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1830 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2488 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,216,284 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | theaustin | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | Cae | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | BDSM_Toilet_Mask_Man.png NFT | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | Dastardly Dan | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | Humpter | 53% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michaecide | 25 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | Discount Zywoo | 15 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | bigwiggy | 14 | 0.0191 |
| #4 | Cae | 11 | 0.0127 |
| #5 | Jeffrlf2 | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Discount Zywoo | 976 | 0.22 | 27 min |
| #2 | Jeffrlf2 | 305 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Skokan | 270 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #4 | Cae | 213 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #5 | Michaecide | 142 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Discount Zywoo | +2.90 | 74 | 70 |
| #2 | Humpter | +1.88 | 95 | 47 |
| #3 | Michaecide | +1.82 | 58 | 27 |
| #4 | xZoKe | -0.27 | 67 | 47 |
| #5 | Skokan | -0.29 | 68 | 69 |





